Inner Game – Outer Game

Good day,

My inner journey – looking at the various components to living a successful and fulfilled life – has produced some fascinating realizations.  And I’m talking in all areas – from business and money, as well as relationships and personal spirituality.

And – in a sense – it’s all one in the same… just different arenas in which the same ME participates.

Here are 6 key areas I’ve found to be hugely influential – all of which we have active agency, or “control” over…

Outer Game

1. Environment

Previously I had a TV on the main floor of my home.  Then a roommate said to me: “So Tim, what do you really get from having the TV here?”.  Ultimately I conceded that there was no real, healthy, productive, get-me-closer-to-what-I-want purpose to having the TV there.

He suggested that we put it away in storage.  I agreed.

Then he asked me if I was ready to REALLY commit to the change.  Taken aback, I said “Yes..?” with a touch of suspicion and trepidation.

“Why don’t I take the cable box back to the cable company, and that way there’s no real convenient way to hook this thing up again?”

I swallowed hard, “manned-up” as they say (i.e. found courage) and said “OK”.

The next day it was gone.

A few months later the same roommate asked me how life was going sans-TV.

I admitted that it was a little tough – after all this was my absolute favourite time of year… NBA playoffs and NHL playoffs all happening at the same time (and no baseball, which I personally find to be boring, although I respect that for millions of people it’s amazing).

To be cut off from TV during the golden season of sport, was a little tough.  BUT, all other results were undeniable… I was getting more work done, more sleep in my schedule, and thus more overall happiness.  Nice.

By removing the TV from my environment, it set up a situation where I could find new levels of happiness, fulfillment, and creative, constructive productivity.

First we make our Environment, then our Environment makes us.

2. People

In the above story, there is a distinct influence from my roommate.

It wasn’t my idea to get rid of the TV.  And even if it was, I would have convinced myself to keep it.  It’s often easier for me to keep the status quo instead of making a change… even if there’s tons of potential upside in making the change.

Yet my roommate didn’t just give me the idea.  He persuaded me to “cut the cord”, and by that I literally mean unplug and store the TV, and permanently return the cable box.

Here’s the thing.  The influence of our friends are just like being on a diet.  You are never really “on” or “off” a diet.  Just because you don’t consider yourself to be on a diet, your body doesn’t count calories differently.  Truly, you are always on a diet… whether that diet is getting you closer or further from your goals is up to you.

Same for exercise.  Your are ALWAYS on an exercise plan.  Your muscles and joints don’t react differently because you consider yourself to be working out or not.  Your expercise plan might consist of walking downstairs, driving your car, and typing on a keyboard.  Or your exercise plan might be running 20km/week, plus yoga and Crossfit.  Either way, you are ALWAYS on an exercise regimen.

Same with your friends.  You are never NOT influenced by them.  They will literally affect your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions, just as my roommate influenced me.

So the game then becomes: who are your friends, and what kind of interaction do you have with them?

First you make your friends, then your friends make you.

(ditto for family!)

3. Habits

In the above example, we also see the 3rd “inner-game” factor at work: habits.

With the TV out my life, now I wasn’t watching 4 hours per week.

I filled that time with different things.  I added a few apps to my iPhone.  I added a sports app from The Sports Network (TSN), and with 10 minutes of looking at that, I could get my fill of sports instead of watching the full hour of SportsCenter.

And with the remaining 50 minutes I would downright just do something else.  Get more work done, read more of a book, talk with a roommate… whatever.  And basically any of those things has had a life ROI far greater than TV.  I can feel it.

Another interesting habit to look at is our consumption of media.

In his AMAZING book The 4-Hour Workweek, author Tim Ferriss talks about how one of the biggest, most chronic ailments of modern day is information overload.

He compares the typical Westerner’s day as a “15,000-calorie potato chip information diet”, and advocates a one-week media fast, where you do not consumer any newspapers, magazines, audiobooks, web surfing, Facebook, television, and many others.

He continues (with a touch of hilarious indignation): “What do you do with all the extra time?  Replace the newspaper at breakfast with… speaking to your spouse, bonding with your children…” as if it’s some kind of amazing revelation.

For many of us, it is.

First we make our Habits, and then our Habits make Us.

Inner Game

4. Thoughts

5. Feelings

6. Actions

I’m putting all three of these together because – frankly – I feel as though I don’t have the same robustness of insight on thoughts and feelings as I do on the other items on this list.

I begin by giving credit to Jack Canfield for sharing the following lesson in his book The Success Principles.

E + R = O

Event + Response = Outcome

Imagine two guys each get a $1,000 windfall.  That’s right – $1,000 of free money that has unexpectedly come their way.

Great!

Guy #1 looks at his $1,000, gets excited, and invests it wisely, earning himself a nice 15% on his money.

Guy #2 looks at his $1,000, gets excited, and heads out for a “night on the town” with some friends.  Dinner, limo, and a few rounds on him, and his night is over.

Guy #1

Event = unexpected $1,000 windfall

Response = invest

Outcome = increased net worth, increased cashflow, increased wealth

Guy #2

Event = unexpected $1,000 windfall

Response = blow it on partying

Outcome = hangover, no money, embarrassing Facebook party pics

So what’s the difference?

Both guys had “life” happen to them in the exact same way: they both had $1,000 come into their life.

Yet they had dramatically different outcomes.

The difference?  Their Response.  How they chose to respond to what life handed them.

Puts a whole new spin on how we manage life, now doesn’t it?

The thoughts and feelings, followed by the actions of each, in response to the $1,000 is really what is dictating THEIR LIFE.

In Summary…

Obviously it’s impossible to separate out the 6 items from one another.  In every example above we can see all 6 items working in concert, in synergy to generate an outcome.

How can you take this information in to your life?

Not 100% sure, because I believe you are the master of you.

How I am personally using the above 6 areas is to simply ask myself: “In what parts of my life am I not satisfied?”

And in those areas that I am dissatisfied, I can simply look at the above 6 items on this checklist and ask: “Is/Are my ______ supporting me in this area of my life?”

For example: I might not be happy with my money situation.

• What could be improved about my environment, in relation to money?
• How do my friends influence me in my decisions around spending and earning money?
• What habits do I have that take me further away from my money goals?
• When I think of money, what are my thoughts, and are those the healthiest thoughts?
• Are the feelings that I feel about money helping me to improve my money situation?
• Are my actions around money sufficient to get me where I want to be?

Onwards and Upwards,

Tim

Advertisement